Live the mourning
8 min read
Louise halimi
Grieving is one of the difficult stages we will experience in our lives.
The loss of a loved one is a very personal experience. Our ability to overcome this painful event is unpredictable. It is a unique experience for everyone which will be in certain aspects a source of loneliness.
The entourage is particularly important in the management and support of bereavement.
Sometimes, circumstances require turning to other organizations (associations, health professionals, etc.) to receive more support. This is particularly important for cases of violent and traumatic death (suicide, loss of a child, bereavement in childhood, etc.), but it is important to question this possibility whatever the situation. This can greatly ease the pain and make the grieving process easier. Badly experienced mourning can turn into depression or give way to other psychological disorders (addiction, anxiety, aggressiveness, etc.).
Grieving takes time. The emotion will be all the more intense as the attachment to the deceased person was deep. We talk about grieving because it requires voluntarily engaging in a process of healing from pain.
The bereaved person goes through a phase of shock, amazement or even denial. It is a normal protective reaction, necessary to preserve oneself and maintain one's balance. Because mourning involves emotions of a rare intensity (fear, anger, suffering, etc.).
A period of escape will follow, also natural, which consists of concentrating on activities (organizing the funeral, work, etc.) to avoid thinking about the death of a loved one. During these first times, it will be important for the person to be in contact with objects, clothes, and photos of the deceased. It's a way to stay connected.
Gradually the person accepts the idea that the other has physically disappeared. This may correspond to the most painful period and therefore the one where more support is needed to avoid the onset of a depressive state. It is following this phase of acceptance that the individual will gradually resume the course of his life.
This work consists in building a new existence. A life without the missing person. This involves the creation of new links or the evolution of old relationships. Strengthened by this new balance, the bereaved person develops a new relationship, a link with the missing person. It becomes possible to think of the deceased while remaining calm and grounded in reality.
A mourning accompanies us for several days, weeks, months, even years. Activities and people can help to better live this period:
- Give yourself time, it is normal to need time to accept the death of a loved one, before resuming the course of his life
- Accept and live your emotions. It is normal to be sad and to cry. Showing your pain will allow others to measure your difficulties, but also your progress in mourning. They can tailor their support to your needs. It is important to confide your emotions. Remembering memories with the deceased can make you sad but also bring smiles and laughter when you remember the moments shared. It is also the first step towards acceptance and reconstruction. Seek the benevolent listening of loved ones or associations (support groups). Talking, telling what happened, what you are going through, will make it easier to accept the situation....